“My Religion is Kindness” – Dalai Lama
The Power of Kindness: A Revolutionary Choice
Kindness is often misunderstood. Many people view kindness as too soft, too weak, to navigate the “real world.” However, the true power of kindness is far from weak—it is a revolutionary mindset capable of transforming the world. Though I often fail, meeting the world with this attitude serves as a guiding light on my life path.
Everyday Kindness
In our daily lives—whether we’re going to the market, the post office, or interacting with a delivery person—there are countless small, seemingly insignificant interactions. These moments offer opportunities to influence the collective energy we share with others. By asking about their day, expressing gratitude for their service, or even commenting on the weather, we humanize each other. When I leave a store and return to my car, I often ask myself how I impacted the people I met. Was I unconscious to the human being “in there,” just going through my to-do list? Without judging, can I see that my presence has an influence, perhaps very minor, in each moment?
Most of us live in relatively safe, non-threatening environments, and we often underestimate the impact we have on others. By being present and looking for opportunities to share authentic moments of connection, we add meaning to everyday experiences. These small acts of kindness can create ripples that extend far beyond the immediate moment. One of the key lessons from the pandemic is how profoundly these simple social interactions contribute to our well-being.
Challenging Interactions
Kindness is fueled by empathy.
Empathy goes beyond merely feeling for others’ suffering; it compels us to “stand in another’s shoes” and understand their perspective.
An empathetic mindset recognizes that we all share core needs—such as safety, respect, freedom, and meaning. When we empathize, we look beyond our differences and see the shared humanity in others. At our core, we realize that “others” are “just like me.”
From this empathetic energy, kindness becomes an obvious choice. Disagreement doesn’t require hostility or the need to “win.” The kindness I am referring to has the power to say “NO,” to stand firm, and to hold opposing views without becoming rigid. When we feel secure within ourselves, we can be the first to seek understanding in a difficult conversation. We can wonder about their views rather than trying to convince them that they are wrong.
Kindness allows for anger and outrage when life is being disrespected or harmed. Overcoming our habitual, almost genetic, aggressiveness during moments of strong disagreement is not easy. Confronted with certainty or aggression from others, this becomes especially difficult. Whether in personal conflicts or political discussions, this is hard work, demanding significant inner preparation and radical forgiveness of self and other.
Kindness does not avoid conflict, nor does it demand superficial niceness. It is a choice—a mindset for how we engage with the world. Surprisingly, this revolutionary choice can disarm others, sometimes sparking more curiosity and deeper questioning from everyone involved.
Kindness in Action
Many of us find ourselves in repetitive arguments with loved ones. Often, this occurs because neither party is willing to truly listen to the other—like two televisions on different channels, facing each other. Kindness, in these moments, is the willingness to be the first to truly listen—not preparing your counter-argument, but simply listening with an open and curious heart.
In a larger sphere, many wonder what they can do about the political divisions in their families, communities, or the world. Some may be drawn to activism—participating in protests, contacting government officials, donating money, or taking other actions. Most of us will find many opportunities to engage in dialogue. Regardless of the form, the attitude of kindness can make a positive impact.
In both everyday interactions and those with greater emotional weight, we have the power to become stewards of the collective field of consciousness. We all contribute, both knowingly and unknowingly, to the “psychic air” we all breathe. Kindness matters!
AND… Kindness to yourself is essential. Overcoming mean-spirited, unhelpful, judgmental critiques (as opposed to helpful discernments), frees our hearts. We can hold ourselves to high standards without an added dose of self- abuse!
When I am not confused, lost, or reactive, I join the Dalai Lama in saying:
“My religion is kindness”.
Russell